Toppa Bashin – Episode 44

Righto, last episode was actually pretty okay, a large part of it was generally pointless but it did finally resolve Eight’s character arc, and give us some plot tidbits about what Thousand Spirits Group are planning.

There’s not much that could particularly ruin this next episode for me.

That is something I CANNOT forgive. We’re getting a Striker-centric BEACH Episode?

There’s no way this title doesn’t entail a Beach Episode.

Striker’s half naked and there’s a ball.

I can only pray that this is only football.

Speaking of which, how is he even KICKING that thing? I thought he wasn’t meant to be doing Sports… Like ever?

Except this is Volleyball, a game played with one’s hands, and you’re meant to aim OVER the net, not into it.

Good Job Striker, you’ve bicycle kicked your way into idiocy, I didn’t actually think that was possible because bicycle kicks are like the ONE thing in football I find actively cool.

I am not familiar with volleyball or its rules but I guess that infraction awarded a point to the other team.

J and Card Sensei are not quite sure what to make of it in-episode but their responses seem to follow the wisest words ever said in competitive history: “We take those”

Oi, back off Bashin, he did like the ONE cool Sports maneuver, followed only by the Slam Dunk.

While Bashin goes off and requests another game (Please stop him, I can’t stand sports), Striker notices My Sunshine looking espresso depresso.

Also she’s here in her My Sunshine appearance, how does she not have a myriad of thirsty fans coming after her?

You’d think she’d have like a Suiren form for this situation.

They went to school to receive their grades in the middle of Summer break? I don’t quite understand.

The only time I’ve ever had to pick up my Grades during a Holiday season was due to having an early Holiday having completed my last exam of my last year of high school.

There was quite literally no point to coming in because there was nothing further to teach. I don’t really get how they can have received their grades AFTER Summer break started while still being in school.

Unless Meganeko is referring to a bit earlier but… They went to Kyoto with no problems?

I’m lost, I assume it won’t matter, its just irrelevant small chatter to fill the scene.

Did Vanguard quite literally just copy the plot of Bashin Toppa? Is that what’s happening?

How do BOTH shows have a fucking beach episode that consists of the main characters coming in FULL fucking swimming uniform, only to go “Ocean? What’s that? I just came here to play cards”

THEN, CONSIDER THIS YOU OLD FUCKING FART.

PICK A VENUE THAT DOESN’T ENCOURAGE SWIMMING AND RELAXATION, AND SECONDLY, DON’T GIVE THEM THE WRONG IDEA BY COMING IN FULL FUCKING SWIMMING GEAR IF YOU AREN’T GONNA GOD DAMN USE IT.

Beach Episodes, the one thing that could not be more unmixable with card games if it fucking tried.

Oh, right, even though the cards are like evidently shown to have their official card backings, for whatever reason the show automatically assumes that the cards are straight up in their sleeves, it’ll get mentioned in the next series in some degree as well. So everyone’s just bought either clear sleeves, or uses sleeves that share the backing of the cards they play with.

The thing is sleeved cards need to be drawn a certain way which a lot of people just ignore for Card Game anime, its a minor detail but I think the new series of Vanguard uses properly sleeved cards and draws them well too.

In any case, J here has brought water-resistant metal sleeves in order to facilitate playing near water.

Good Job J. Weird use of Sawaragi resources but good job.

I’m not sure why you’d want to DO that, the sleeves are useful if you fuck up or a breeze blows too hard but playing them IN THE WATER sounds like a terrible idea.

Thank you Meganeko, you were once my favourite.

She’s just REALLY out of it, you’d think Pink would have shook her into shape by now.

Okay you did this before with Amade Us and it was creepy then, it is no less creepy now, please stop making that fucking face.

And now Striker’s getting flushed, listen, Shounen anime and requited love is NOT A FUCKING THING. There is so little value to teasing this when we know for a fact that the attraction won’t be reciprocated!

Okay, getting relationship advice from animals who have VERY DIFFERENT BREEDING HABITS TO PEOPLE is a bad idea.

Im calling it now, it’s not love, never has been, and never will be.

I like how he’s asking quite literally every animal EXCEPT the one that actually fucking knows her, you’d get a more appropriate answer out of Pink than literally anyone here.

…I mean for the Manager maybe but I feel like that’s not what you mean.

Remember kids, if you want to know who someone likes, the answer is almost always “Unless its you, nunya business”

Striker’s completely distracted by the question of “Who exactly has My Sunshine fallen in love with” and has decided to distract himself by focusing on Battle Spirits.

I appear to have misunderstood, he plans to solve the My Sunshine problem through Battle Spirits, rather than distract himself from it with Battle Spirits.

The picture My Sunshine appears to be drawing looks like a Rice Ball. Was she flushed because she was hungry and didn’t want to mention it?

…No Cap, no it fucking couldn’t. What part of that looks like a god damn Soccer Ball?

That doesn’t look even REMOTELY like what she’s drawing, she even filled in the hole! It’s obviously a rice ball!

The animals suggest that this means that My Sunshine is actually in love with Striker, but Striker being a complete muppet thinks she might be in love with Soccer Balls.

A tad intriguing of an idea but I doubt Soccer Balls can really provide for her needs Striker.

My Sunshine moves onto a different picture in the sand.

I am convinced she is just hungry, that is clearly a croissant.

ITS DOUBLE ENDED AND THERE’S A FUCKING HEAD BETWEEN THE ENDS, HOW IS THAT HERCULES GEO’S HORN!?

End it.

Just end it all.

I’m stumped on this one, that could literally be anything, I’m going to guess Banana, or Omelette but I’m certain they’re both wrong.

Oh come on if she was drawing that she’d at LEAST remember that his hair fucking FOLDS IN on itself!

SHE’S HUNGRY FOR A DISH, NOT THE D.

This episode is going to make me pop a blood vessel.

I FUCKING KNEW IT.

Now the next question is, “Why is she hungry? Why doesn’t she go eat”

Well the likelihood is she is, as an idol, on a strict diet of things that she’s allowed to eat to ensure that she maintains her physical form, and as such, probably can’t even contractually eat when she wants to.

Or she’s got a craving, one of the 2.

Okay, it’s a little more smaller in scope than a career-wide problem, she’s dieting because she’s got a Photo shoot soon and wants to look her best.

Still, I got close.

Oh, that last one wasn’t even food, she was coping by remembering her days in Hawaii apparently, she surfed a lot.

Striker apparently can’t quite cope with the idea that My Sunshine might be attracted to him so he swims to cool off.

And of course the more he thinks about it, the more he likes the idea of having My Sunshine as his girlfriend.

But we already know she’s hungry, not in love, so the rest of this episode is just going to be complete pointlessness isn’t it?

And now the bitch is having a delusion, he’s SUMMONING HIMSELF.

Can I just leave? And go read the Manga instead or something? Please.

The Manga can’t be anywhere near as bad as this, not with Bashin’s design like THIS:

The characters ACTUALLY LOOK COOL.

Why is he imagining trying to save My Sunshine from a Bun-Ffalo?

And he was so lost in his delusion he forgot that he was actually in the water and has now begun to drown.

Yeah fuck you, you deserve that after how you’ve wasted my time!

OH GOD NOW HE’S IN A DREAM SEQUENCE.

I don’t see any narrative value to this episode so you can bet your ass I’m just going to rip and tear into it like my life fucking depends on it.

Yep, this is definitely a dream sequence, My Sunshine is not a huggy person unless she doesn’t want you going somewhere, like with J.

Striker tries to confess his feelings but gets interrupted by what appears to be Kyouka’s voice.

…He’s dreaming about Kyouka and My Sunshine fighting over him…

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but Kyouka has MORE chemistry with Bashin than she does with you Striker.

And BASHIN already has a designated love interest!

Interesting how the Suiren Persona has a bit of a saucier costume, that’s kind of interesting.

But either way, if 2 girls like a 3rd person and polyamory isn’t an option, they definitely aren’t going to settle their differences on a single competitive game, let alone the fact they’re doing it DIRECTLY INFRONT OF THE OBJECT OF THEIR AFFECTIONS.

Neither, you’re 13, you’ve got school to finish.

…They aren’t actually going to show us a fictional battle are they?

Please no.

Oh jesus they are.

Alright, Kyouka has a new card here among her Spirits, she has a Rock-Golem and an AppetiteFlower Bug-Lesia both at Lv1

Its just a Cost 6 Vanilla, hefty cost but high Power at Lv3. Nothing particularly interesting. And of course she’s using a GREEN card here.

Kyouka also has The Victory Stand of the Glory on her board, which we saw last episode, at Lv1 it lets her discard from her deck to pay for the cost of Nexuses she plays.

Suiren has a Level 2 WaterSnake Seaserpenta and The Beatpriest at Lv1

BOTH of them are using Green are they? Well isn’t THAT convenient for a dream sequence.

Also I like how they’re making use of a dumbed down variant of Isekai that takes place on the fucking BEACH.

More Green to appease Striker’s sensibilities…
Alright I’ll stop ragging on about it, it makes sense he would dream about Green cards because Dreams can only be comprised of stuff your brain can remember, if it hasn’t seen it before the brain can’t produce it. As such, every face you see in your dream is actually re-used from a person you actually know, even if they’re pretending to be someone else.

Also yeah, new card we should probably look at that. BlackMonoqueiroz

Another BS04 card, this time of the Shellman family, its got a similar effect to the original Monoqueiroz but its a bigger boost in exchange for it being limited to specific families.

BlackMonoqueiroz looks more like it should be called “RedMonoqueiroz” honestly.

Anyway its effect triggers, boosting itself and Stagscissor by +3000 BP.

Stagscissor and BlackMonoqueiroz attack, each slashing lives from Suiren who is now on 3. We don’t know how many lives Kyouka has.

Seaserpenta and Bug-Lesia do combat, destroying each other as both have 4000 BP.

I’m happy Striker has also noticed the sudden increase in their Green cards, I am less happy that you don’t realise they are all cards you explicitly remember.

And he’s having a fantasy WITHIN a fantasy where he’s had KIDS with her, look at the Chibi Kyouka and Striker juniors.

Granted, this place looks rather shit, the walls are cracked and the scroll is sabotaged.

You… you realise Kyouka is rich right? You’d benefit from HER family.

I don’t protest the idea that Kyouka would make a good wife, I protest the idea that she would be a wife to literally anyone in this fucking show.

Its Suiren’s turn and she plays Hellscorpio.

And she follows up with Life Chain, I imagine she’ll want to destroy her high costed Beatpriest to gain 5 core, she’ll net only 1 extra core this turn but its 5 extra core for the entire game.

She had 11 core in her reserve earlier, and she just got 5, she’s spent 5 this turn for Hellscorpio and Life Chain and there’s a single core on Hellscorpio as well.

I count 22 core total. And she’s currently got 16 available in her reserve, and 1 on Hellscorpio.

And for this move she’d pay 3 core for Hellwitch and 5 for Negapluto, the core invested for their levels is 4, so 12, she has enough core for this.

Also Negapluto is new.

oho, ohohohoho…

That’s interesting, that’s real interesting. Negapluto is an Ogre Wizard family spirit that can alter what colour spirits it can and cannot be blocked by based on its Level.

But that’s not the interesting part, the interesting part, is that it’s a card from BS05.

We’re on the 5th set baby!

At Lv2, Negapluto can’t be blocked by Blue or White Spirits. And Kyouka only has Rock-Golem as a Blocker.

Suiren attacks with Negapluto and follows up with Nature Forces…

I think I’ve reviewed this card before, but just incase we’ve forgotten, its a card that can’t be used during the Main Step. You can only use it during Flash Timing, and it moves all the Core in your Trash to a Spirit you control.

Naturally, in today’s game, its banned, because you can effectively spend all your core, use Nature Forces to get them back and THEN get the Magic in your hand live, you basically get to have your cake AND eat it.

She of course, gives it all to Hellwitch so she can get rid of both Stagscissor and BlackMonoqueiroz

Unable to be blocked by Rock-Golem, Kyouka is forced to take a life from Negapluto’s attack

And its revealed she also had 5 lives (3 vs 5->4)

Hellwitch then attacks, vaporizing the only targets available, Stagscissor and BlackMonoqueiroz.

Kyouka COULD have blocked this one but then chose not to, taking it from the life (3 vs 3)

Striker laments that Kyouka is having a bad time because “Green spirits will always be meant to use for support.”

He’s suggesting that the Green Attribute, with the ability to Core Boost, makes Green effectively relegated to a secondary colour and that wielding it as a primary colour can be an uphill battle, but Green has some of the gnarliest traits about it.

Green, like Red, can directly snatch lives out of the opponent, which Green currently does so by exercising Kingtaurus’ effect, in which it needs to win battles, and Kingtaurus has a fairly strong Lv3 BP, plus there is Swift which is difficult to adequately use unless its Mono green (with the exception of MachG)

…And then Striker has a delusion about getting sat on by Suiren.

I don’t…

Are we seeing the first ever SIMP!?

Yeah, what ARE you thinking Striker? Jesus boy, you’re too young for this shit.

Its Kyouka’s turn and she uses The Fruit of Life, deploying it at Lv2, she doesn’t state her use of the Blue Nexus’ effect but I don’t think she’d want to so willingly give up that core.

Unlike Bashin or anyone else’s decks, this deck looks like it has a nice even split between Green and Blue. She follows up with BlackMachG and Diatryma.

Sometimes all ye can do is mount a defense and hope for the best, she’s only got 1 card left in her hand which is kind of spooky.

Yeah, even IF Suiren is open, she’s not beatable, and Hellwitch will just annihilate whatever swings. She can’t annihilate both though, only 1. But right now that’s not really an option.

Striker if you’re going to have a Delusion, AT LEAST HAVE ONE THAT’S REASONABLE.

Binding woods will make the previous attempt at mounting a defense entirely irrelevant, at the very least Suiren can only exhaust 1 Spirit, probably why she played the Skulldemon so she could get the other.

BlackMachG is the unfortunate target, having selected Green.

I’m surprised, she’s still got a Rock-Golem and a Diatryma, surely Blue would be more beneficial?

If you expect me to accept the explanation of “Because she had Poison shoot, therefore she could get rid of Rock-Golem anyway” I don’t believe you.

She could have saved that for a later disruption.

Negapluto attacks, Kyouka is brought to 2 lives (3 vs 3->2)

Skulldemon attacks, blocked by Diatryma, resulting in both of their destructions thanks to Curse.

Hellwitch attacks, destroying the exhausted BlackMachG.

And is brought to her last life.

If I remember correctly, Kyouka’s out of blockers and Suiren still has Hellscorpio available.

Someone PLEASE explain to me why a Shounen anime is depicting a 13-year old boy, dreaming about being WHIPPED by one of his friends?

I am NOT ENTIRELY SURE THAT’S BETTER I’LL BE HONEST.

Kyouka answers Hellscorpio by Swift summoning good ol’ trusty MACHG.

There’s nothing quite like the Cost 1 little shit, he’s just a good Spirit, a free chump block is nothing to scoff at, especially one your opponent can’t see.

Both were Lv1, and MachG has 2000 BP at Lv1 compared to Hellscorpio’s 1000 BP.

It’s Purple’s major flaw, they have very powerful effects but VERY little power backing it.

Its Kyouka’s turn, she summons a 2nd Bug-Lesia. I’m really not sure what this (Albiet cool looking) Cost 6 Vanilla is going to do at this juncture?

I’m sorry run that by me again? You’re doing WHAT with Bug-Lesia?

Maybe I’m the one dreaming, did Kyouka just Tribute a Spirit?

TO PLAY WHAT NOW?! A BS05 BLUE X-RARE!? IN A DREAM SEQUENCE?!

REALLY?!

Forever tying Kyouka to the Beast Head family, is this card, The HugeBeastLord Behedoth. The first we see of the X-Rares of BS05.

As with all Tribute Spirits up until this point, Behedoth carries a Double Symbol. And shares the same condition with Dark Siegfried, sending all Core from a Cost 6 or greater Spirit to the Void, which if you’re playing optimally should be ONE core at any given time.

Whats notable about it is it’s effect When summoned, for every different colour of Magic in the opposing Trash it wipes out ONE spirit, of your choice, no questions asked. ANY spirit, conditionless spirit wiping is not something common in this current card pool, the best we had was the Tidal Wave card and that required your Nexuses AND your opponent got to pick the cards, on TOP of needing a Double Symbol Spirit just to use it.

And finally, at Lv3 which isn’t cheap, requiring 6 core, your opponent simply can’t answer Behedoth’s battles with Magic.

It’s not strong but it can be devastating, and in this case, rather punishing to an opponent who mixes colours, and even if they don’t mix all that much you could still time this well to wipe out a powerful spirit of theirs.

He’s depicted as a LOT DARKER than he’s displayed here, not sure I like the colour scheme they went with for his model.

As Suiren has used both Purple and Green Magic over the course of this game, Behedoth can destroy 2 Spirits free of charge.

Hellwitch and Negapluto are the unfortunate targets.

Shame, I quite liked the Undead Samurai over there, wish his effect was miles better though won’t lie.

With a full attack, MachG and Behedoth have enough symbols to take all 3 of Suiren’s lives.

Making a win for the imaginary Kyouka.

For some reason Striker, after the battle, morphs into his adult self and Kyouka spawns 2 children immediately.

Striker’s delusions have gone too far, now MEGANEKO is joining in the Striker Harem dream?

Get me out of here, I don’t want to be here anymore.

AND THAT’S JUST ILLEGAL.

Okay I’ll be reasonable, its entirely normal for minors going through puberty to fantasize about those who may be older than them and more mature.

HOWEVER, that is within the privacy of their minds and is NOT to be exhibited to the general public. Nor should any kind of relationship ever be formed between these people.

I DO NOT NEED TO BE SEEING ANY KIND OF DEPICTION OF NUMBER EIGHT FIGHTING FOR STRIKER’S LOVE.

I’m done. Get me out of here. I want out. LEMME OUT.

SO HAVE I.

No, please, for the love of whatever god rules this universe let Striker die.

What I have seen within the confines of his mind should never be relayed to the world.

No My Sunshine, I’m not alright, I had to live through whatever the fuck this episode was.

Trust me, please, when I say that you absolutely do not want to know.

Striker decides to punish the animals who led him on this problematic dream, turns out the animals admit they were just fucking with him.

And yes Striker, that’s the exact face I’m making.

A common trope in Card Game anime where they discuss topics of love always tends to be one of the parties admitting their love to the game itself to avoid the question of who they’re actually interested in.

Usually because relationships are, quite rightfully, irrelevant in an anime about playing fucking cards.

Which makes me CONTINUE to wonder, if they’re never going to show requited love in card game anime, DO THEY BOTHER WITH THESE 30 MINUTE WASTES OF MY LIFE!?

Good, Fuck him.

And I feel the need to clarify “Not literally” after the stain this episode left on me.

We jump to a segment where Striker and My Sunshine are out in the sunset.

Watch, this is standard shounen fakeoutery, he’ll try to confess and won’t quite say it.

Instead of saying ANYTHING along the lines of “I am romantically interested in you” he just comes out with the most pointless thing ever, wanting the fictional version of Suiren born in his broken mind, to win.

She doesn’t quite remember WHICH battle he’s on about but thanks him anyway since he went out of his way to say it.

Which is a NORMAL thing for ANYONE to do.

This is apparently too much for the poor boy and he goes for a run.

Yeah FUCK you! You deserve everything you’re getting for the pain you’ve caused me.

GOD THE EPISODE IS OVER, FINALLY.

I’d talk about cards or Batosupi lecture or SOMETHING but believe me when I say I absolutely want out of this post as much as possible.

Cold Shower, Brain Bleach, the lot, so I’ll see you for the next one.

And I’m sorry for what everyone had to witness here today, sweet JESUS.